Three Levels of validation

A Quiet Measure of Spiritual Maturity

One of the subtler markers of spiritual growth has nothing to do with how much you meditate, what you believe, or how many books you have read. It shows up in something far more ordinary and far more revealing: where you look for validation.

Validation is simply the way we confirm our own worth. The interesting part is that as our awareness matures, the source of that validation tends to change. Over time, most people move through three distinct levels. You can think of them as stages of internal development rather than achievements to strive for.

None of these stages are wrong. Each one is part of a natural unfolding. The suffering usually comes from not recognizing where we are, or from judging ourselves for being in a stage that is actually doing exactly what it is meant to do.

Level One: Living on External Validation

The first level is where most of us begin. At this stage, validation is almost entirely external.

Our sense of worth is tied to people, circumstances, achievements, and approval. Compliments feel like oxygen. Criticism feels devastating. Relationships, money, status, productivity, and recognition all become quiet measuring sticks for whether we matter.

This stage can feel exhausting because the outside world is always changing. People are inconsistent. Circumstances shift. Support comes and goes. When your worth depends on those external signals, your inner state tends to rise and fall with them.

What is important to understand here is that this is not a failure of character or spirituality. It is simply a phase of development. When awareness has not yet learned to generate its own sense of value, it naturally borrows it from the world around it.

Level Two: The Seesaw of Self-Worth

As growth unfolds, many people move into the second level. This is the transitional stage, and it is one of the most confusing.

Here, you have begun to develop some internal sense of worth. You may know, intellectually and sometimes emotionally, that your value does not entirely depend on others. And yet, external validation still feels very appealing.

This is the seesaw phase. Some days you feel grounded, centered, and self-assured. Other days, you find yourself quietly hoping for recognition, reassurance, or approval. External validation is no longer an absolute need, but it still has influence.

This stage often brings frustration because people expect themselves to be “past this by now.” In reality, this phase is where most of the real work happens. You are learning to feel your own worth directly rather than proving it. That takes time, patience, and compassion.

Level Three: Validation as an Inside Job

The third level is what spiritual adulthood tends to look like.

At this stage, your sense of worth is no longer dependent on any person, place, thing, or event. You do not need the world to confirm who you are. Validation is generated internally, moment by moment.

This does not mean you stop appreciating support or acknowledgment. It simply means you are no longer built on it. Praise does not inflate you, and criticism does not dismantle you. You stand on your own inner ground.

Ironically, this is often when external support matters the least. Many of the systems we lean on for validation were never designed to carry our true value in the first place. When you stop leaning, you discover that you were never meant to be held up by them.

Why This Matters on the Spiritual Path

Understanding these levels is not about trying to rush toward the third stage. It is about honesty.

When you know where your validation is coming from, you stop fighting yourself. You stop pretending to be more evolved than you feel. And that honesty, more than any technique, becomes the doorway to real growth.

Spiritual maturity is not about becoming immune to life. It is about becoming rooted in yourself. When validation comes from within, life no longer gets to vote on your worth. It simply gets to meet you where you stand.

And that changes everything.